• Freia M. Titland

Setbacks and Bad Days

We all get down sometimes, but how do we pull ourselves out of the funk?

This is the question I asked myself last week when it seemed like absolutely nothing could go right for me. I was so down on myself I thought I'd never get back to normal. Depression does that to you sometimes, and I've learned that THAT'S OKAY. But, I've also learned that you can't just sit in your sadness, you've got to do something about it in order to feel better.

So lemme break down my last two weeks for you like I did on my podcast, Body Positive Goddess. I was feeling kinda crappy; mind, body, and spirit. I had just heard some bad news and I was super stressed out. On top of that, I was fighting the ever-present battle of overcoming my personal body image issues to do a lingerie shoot. Yikes!

That gif is how I was feeling inside! Then *BOOM* Mother Nature arrives the day before my LINGERIE SHOOT LADIES. sigh... That's the way that goes I guess. I get the proofs back from the shoot and - the photos are GORGEOUS - but, of course, I'm picking myself apart. I was so upset with myself for being upset about my body that I got even angrier! Talk about a negative spiral, right? So *knowing I'm already vulnerable and upset* what do I do? Get on the scale.

What the hell is wrong with me? It's the end of the day, I have my period, and I'm stressed and upset, and THAT'S when I decided to get on the scale? Good one, Freia. Of course, I see the number and get even more upset to the point that I went into my bedroom so I could lay down and cry. You read that right. I let a number on a tiny little device that doesn't even mean anything make me go lay down and cry. This deep emotional turmoil stays with me for days after. DAYS. That's multiple days of:

  • Not doing what I love

  • Not taking nature walks

  • Not eating yummy foods

  • Not stretching, doing yoga, or exercising

  • Not getting my work done

  • Not reading my books

  • Not meditating

  • Not journaling

WOAH! I let a NUMBER ON A SCALE derail my whole life for DAYS. You might be thinking, "well, just snap out of it!" or, "it's not that big of a deal, why are you so upset any way?". For some people, it's a very big deal and it's incredibly difficult to "snap out of it". Some of us have been conditioned my society, upbringing, personal experiences, etc. to believe that our worth is contingent upon society's standards of beauty. So, when we "make a mistake" (read: gain weight), it's as if the world is crashing down around us. I've been living in this belief system for as long as I can remember. It can be hard to break but it CAN be broken! I'm slowly chipping away at this belief and I hope you'll listen to my podcast to see how.

So, how did I do it? Well, it sure as hell wasn't easy. Step one was to reach out to a friend that I could trust. This was tricky in and of itself because I have some friends who I love and cherish but who I would not come to with my body image issues. They don't necessarily understand what I'm feeling or what I need in that moment of vulnerability. You need to build a support system of people who get it. Maybe you don't have that right now and that's okay. I'll be your friend! Or, you can find online communities and groups made up of people who are struggling in a similar way to you. Sometimes, a stranger will get you better than you're own family.

Once my friend reminded me that my feelings were valid and that it was all part of the process, I took baby steps. I went for my nature walk and got my body moving. I immediately felt a shift in my body. I felt a loosening and a release. I took my time and took in the nature around me. I took quiet moments for myself. When I got home I cleaned. My space had become cluttered and it was affecting my mind. Then I got back to meditating and journaling and maaaaaaaaaannnnn let me tell you... I felt better almost immediately. Then I got annoyed I let myself get off track in the first place!

Let's be honest: it's going to happen again. Something "bad" is going to happen and it's going to make me upset. But, knowing I can get to the other side is key. If you're having a really shitty week, make a list of all the things you do on a daily basis that bring you joy, then try to do just one of them. It might feel like you're just going through the motions but hey, fake it til you make it right? The forced act will force your mind to get back into a healthier and more positive mindset. I promise.

Leave a comment and let me know how your week is going. And, don't forget to check out the Body Positive Goddess podcast and let me know what you think! Love you.


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